Reflections on Mother's Day

Five years ago I was sitting in the base chapel at Ramstein AB for the usual Sunday morning service...it was Mother's Day. The chaplain asked all the mothers to come up to receive a special candle to commemorate the day. Tears started streaming down my face, and I actually walked out of the service for a moment to compose myself. You see, I had just been through my 4th or 5th round of infertility treatment with no success. I wanted more than anything to be a Mommy. I wanted the child that I thought I deserved. Besides, wasn't it God's will for me to have children? Most girls are brought up with the presumption that one day they would be Mommys.

The Lord took me through a five year journey. At times I was restless and questioned God and His love for me. At other times I was at peace and knew that His plan was perfect. As I look back on our journey through infertility I am in total amazement how God worked the timing out PERFECTLY. God knew just the right time to bring both Isabella and Jack into this world.

On this Mother's Day I am in awe of God's faithfulness. Yes, He has blessed me with two amazing children, but they are not mine...they are His. He has entrusted them to me to nurture and raise in a way that brings glory to Him. Looking back I wanted kids for the wrong reasons...for selfish reasons. All my other friends at Ramstein had kids...I was the odd man out.

My heart does break today for those women who are unable to have their own children, those who are dealing with infertility issues, and those who have lost a baby. I know how difficult this day is for them. As we celebrate Mothers today, please pray for those who long to have children and become Mothers.

Thank you Lord for giving me Isabella and Jack. Thank you for your grace and love even when I was angry with you in the midst of my struggle to have children. Please be with C and S today and bless them. Please give them a peace that passes all understanding.